Typically, I scroll through facebook at a million miles per hour, barely skimming the mostly worthless pictures and posts. I liked this quote so much, though, that I even downloaded it.
It seemed fitting. I had written recently about struggling for so long to get back on track because I was coming from such a negative starting place, disgusted and angry with myself for gaining weight back, and how difficult it is to do anything to take care of me when I am furious with me.
Fighting through that was the only way I could find my way back onto my wagon and get moving again. Instead of fussing and moaning about how much weight I have gained back, I focus on the steps I’ve taken recently to drop a few pounds. I focus on where I can be if I stay consistent.
I want to be excited about this journey and where I am headed, not beating myself into the ground as punishment for where I have been. I can do this. It may have taken a while to get that back into my head, but now that it’s there, I want to run with it for all it’s worth and see what I can accomplish.
Sure, I’m overweight. I am out of shape. But now I can look at myself and see what others see, what my husband sees. I am beautiful, but more than that, I am smart, ambitious, sarcastic, willing to bust my ass to get what I want, will stand next to the ones I love with fierce loyalty, and capable of so much more than I even give myself credit for.
“You’re beautiful” has always seemed like a condescending, patronizing, head-patting token gesture offered to women as fluff to make them feel better, and I will never teach my stepdaughters that what they look like is the most important thing about them. It’s another reason I like this quote. I like the idea of working toward being faster, stronger, healthier. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful, of course. I just want to be fit and bad-ass, too!
I also like the attitude of not dismissing and putting down who I was when I started. I am only a few pounds away from where I started, so why would I want to disparage that person, that stage of me? And even when I reach goal weight, why would I want to? It’s still me, just at different weights. I like the focus on improving who I already am, not throwing away an old me like trash and constructing a new me. Who I am now rocks, too.